I do not remember exactly when we turned off Donald’s life support.
In the days, weeks and months that followed his death, time took on a different dimension. It seemed to matter little then, although I suspect it was nearing midnight, on Sunday 27th February 2000.
That ten years have passed seems unbelievable, that the pain has never truly diminished, does not.
Donald was our 21 year old son with the world at his feet! He had just passed his international ski instructor’s exams and decided to celebrate, by kayaking a Grade 5 Scottish river in full winter spate. How he capsized remains a mystery, but when he was swept into a massive whirlpool, a safety rope thrown by his friend, failed to come close to his grasp across the ferocious, thunderous cavern.
Many hours later in intensive care, with no brain activity present, the awful decision to remove Donald from all clinical support was made.
My Father always told me that being pre-deceased by a child was akin to a living death. That was his way of telling us country children, to take care around farm machinery, or up in the mountains, or fishing alone at night on the river.
Yet what he could not know – how could anyone – was the total heartbreak and utter emotional devastation which would be experienced with such loss.
It was only then, that I began to truly understand how anyone could die of a broken heart! The grief and pain were as physically palpable as was the sense of total abject hopelessness.
Then three years ago, like a bolt out of the blue, I received a call from friends in Midhurst, East Sussex, informing me of the tragic news, that Clare Milford Haven’s 21 year old son James, had committed suicide.
I knew Clare through the Cowdray polo circles and was absolutely shocked. It was not until a year later when I read Clare’s courageous article in the Times could I gain any understanding of what had happened.
Suddenly I realized that I’d embraced Donald’s death over the years in a manner in which I’d granted myself special permission to suggest my grief was more valid, or deeper than others.
It’s not that it was intended. It’s what unconsciously evolved. At it’s most basic I suppose it is what is referred to rather glibly these days as a coping mechanism. For me, it was simply survival.
So, when I read Clare’s harrowing account of the events surrounding James’s suicide, it lent some acute perspective to my situation.
Months after Donald’s death, his ashes were scattered on Schiehallionin, in northern Perthshire, without my knowledge. That it was the wrong mountain, made it somehow even more tragic. But, that’s another story!
That Donald died undertaking what he so enjoyed, does not lessen the pain, not at all.
If however it serves to underline how precious, and tenuous life truly is, then these words will have not been written in vain!
This is Paul Lupari and he is one of those unusual individuals who welcomes change!
In fact, you could say, he has made a career out of it, and often puts himself in the spotlight to explain to his customers, how they can benefit from it too!
Recently he decided it was time to invigorate his market place and came up with the idea of creating an unusual campaign to help circulate more product amongst his clients.
He knew many of his consumers had been going through a lean time so he decided to put on a show, which is where we came in! Paul wanted actors to illustrate and underline his views with a sprinkling of thespian drama and humor to create emotional impact!
We were commissioned to write the screen plays and produce a film of the entire event.
You can see an uncut and unmixed clip ( no sound EQ ) below.
It was a fun, and oversubscribed show with a serious message though!
Paul’s business is selling high quality NEFF Kitchen appliances. They’re at the upper end of the market and in these uncertain economic times not the easiest article to sell. What they do represent though is high value as well as great design and style. They are, some would argue, the iPhone of the kitchen world, and that’s the way to present them!
So, these days if you see an unusual business opportunity – like Paul – you need seize the moment and embrace it with all the passion and zeal of a cheetah lining up it’s next gazelle on the plains of the Serengeti!
And don’t let go!
By any stretch of the imagination it’s one of those strategies which could go horribly wrong, or might just take off!
But these days it’s all about calculated risk, and this is one of them!
Now, you might be forgiven for wondering what the iPhone and Mac giant is about to next launch on an unsuspecting world? After all, we’ve only recently been informed about iPad, which, I hasten to add, I’ve already ordered!!
Well the answer is nothing! At least not immediately, not that I’m aware of……….
You see, this particular Apple initiative, is an Irish organic food venture, centered in the picturesque hilltop village of Kilrea. It’s the brainchild of restaurant owner Barry Dallat who has just issued a national challenge to get everyone thinking about where their food comes from, and the real cost to the environment.
Perched above the River Bann, where 1200 years earlier marauding Norse Vikings once sailed upstream, his award winning restaurant Arbutus sits just off the square.
Over the last year Barry’s struck up a trading relationship with Culmore Organic farm, less than a mile across the river,
As a result Barry believes he has the lowest carbon footprint of any epicurean establishment in the country, and is offering a personally supervised, weekend cookery course with lunch, to anyone who can better his claim.
Organic beef, milk, cream, potatoes, eggs, honey and of course apples, are all sourced from the farm, and used in his extensive and succulent dishes.
Given the old adage that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, Barry’s hoping he can be disproved.
It’s a very Irish approach to doing business and raising your profile!
Yet, at it’s heart is a genuine conviction to open dialogue across the country with fellow restaurateurs and clients to discover what others are doing and how he can improve his approach.
So, perhaps ultimately, the challenge is to all of us, to engage with the spirit of Barry’s initiative, wherever we live!
What do you think?